01/04/25, 12:18 a.m.
Why is God punishing me?
As long as I can remember, my parents haven't gotten along. I've heard them argue so many times. I'm tired of getting caught between them.
I always hoped that when I became an adult, I could move out and leave all of my problems behind me. But now, years after the start of my adulthood, I'm still here; still caught between them. I'm so tired. I want to get out of here. Sometimes I'm scared I never will.
I think what makes it worse for me is that it's exasperating my anxiety and depression. It's so hard to make myself do anything productive.
I'll have been unenmployed for a year as of tomorrow. I can't say that I haven't tried to find a new one. But clearly I haven't tried hard enough. If I can't a job, I'll never be able to afford to move out, or even get my own vehicle so I don't have to worry about getting banned from driving if things go south with my father. I know I shouldn't think of my situation as unsalvagable, and I'll try to keep my head up, but it still hurts to live like this.I hope things look up soon.
-Dimitri